Dear Husband…Why can’t you read my mind?

Maternity Couple

Chris and I during a maternity shoot when I was pregnant with Penelope

Communication. The one thing my husband and I fight about the most.

I want him to recognize when I need some help and do it without me asking.

He wants me to tell him what I want help with.

For some reason I find it really hard to do this. I mean really hard. I think I’m just one of those people who has to do everything myself (*ahem ahem* control freak…) and so when it all gets overwhelming (which it seems to do a little more now that I get tired and cranky more easily) I blame it on my husband, who ends up shrugging his shoulders with a perplexed look on his face and saying, “I’d have helped if you would have told me you needed it.”

An example: A few days we were at the pool with family. I had Penelope in a chair next to me and I was feeding her lunch and trying to eat mine at the same time. My husband had just finished cooking the food and was standing near the table eating some chips. Penelope started trying to get down from her chair (while I tried to keep her there) and she knocked over a bowl of cut-up fruit. For some reason (I’ll blame pregnancy hormones), I immediately looked at my husband and snapped, “You could help you know.” He, confused, said, “I didn’t know you needed help.”

Why can’t he read my mind? More specifically, why can’t he read my mind the second the thought, “I need help” blares through it? Maybe I just need to be more aware of situations that could result in the need for assistance and plan to seek aid before things become critical.

In less drastic situations (i.e. I’ve been handling a fussy Penny all afternoon and cleaning at the same time while he’s been reading peacefully) I know what I want just fine (help with the cleaning or the kiddo!), and I don’t think it’s asking too much for him to know as well. I guess it’s true what they say: women work in subtlety and men are more candid. I’ll just need to find a way to relinquish a little control once in a while and maybe he can take some classes in ESP, and we’ll find our way to the middle eventually!

Advertisements

Yay Naps!

Yes...I need all of these toys!

Yes…I need all of these toys!

Whew! I’m almost 7 weeks into my second pregnancy and I am pooped!

I remember the fatigue from my first pregnancy – the exhaustion that could usually be cured by lounging on the couch for a few hours with a catnap or two thrown in. No longer! With a toddler that has recently learned that by grabbing mommy’s hand you can take her anywhere you want to go, I spend my days being pulled from room to room to partake in the fun my Penelope has in mind for the two of us. So incredibly cute 🙂

However, for a pregnant lady who is drained by baby-growing, it can be tiring. So I do a new thing now. I take naps.

Yes, whenever my kiddo is down for her midday snooze, I go down for mine. It works out great – I can sleep and wake up rested and ready to run around after her for the rest of the day!

Beautiful, hour plus naps in my comfy, cool bed…ahhhh…I want to take another one now.

But, I’ll have to wait until Bugg’s naptime, because she has somewhere she wants to go and she’s taking me along for the ride!

Disrupting the Nap Schedule

Penny on Daddy's Leg

Penny on Daddy’s Leg

Do you plan your days around naptime?

I do.

And it has had some interesting effects.

First, I find myself determining where it is feasible to go during the day based on how fast we get moving in the morning. For example, my parents live about 30 minutes away. Whenever we visit, we usually go in the early afternoon before Penny’s nap. This is the naptime math I recently went through before a visit. Penny woke up at 10:15 am and she takes a nap at 2:00. In order to spend a worthwhile amount of time (by this I mean more than a friendly wave as we drive past their house on our way back to ours), we need to be gone from our apartment by, at the latest, 10:45, which puts us at my parents house at 11:15. If we arrive at this time, we can have 2 hours to visit before we have to leave at 1:15 (this gives us enough time to get home and go through our naptime routine so things go smoothly). This means that, on days we are visiting my parents, I’m a complete B from the moment we wake up; I become a crazy, clock-watching, psychopath until my family (including my definitely-does-not-like-to-be-rushed husband) are packed into the car.

Second, I do nothing spur-of-the-moment. At our recent visit, my mom recently suggested that we have Penny nap at their house so we could stay longer. I would LOVE for this to be an option…but…I’m a wimp. My daughter loves her routines and she thrives when everything goes as expected (as most toddlers do, I’m sure). When the routines are disrupted…well, that’s another story. Case in point: a few days ago we weren’t able to get Penny home at 2:00 for her naptime routine (we had appointments and had to pick up a family member from the hospital) so she slept for about 30 minutes in the car. When we got home at around 3:45, I attempted our regular routine, but little toot spent about 30 minutes talking to herself in her crib, playing, and not sleeping. She was FINE the rest of the night. However…the next day I had a tired (and oh-so fussy) pumpkin. It took her a day to get back on track and back to her usual, happy-go-lucky self.

What kind of nappers do you have? I have friends who can tote their kids anywhere and they’re perfectly fine, but I know others whose kids are like mine: naptime is sacred and must not be disrupted at all costs. Leave comments and share your experiences!