Communication. The one thing my husband and I fight about the most.
I want him to recognize when I need some help and do it without me asking.
He wants me to tell him what I want help with.
For some reason I find it really hard to do this. I mean really hard. I think I’m just one of those people who has to do everything myself (*ahem ahem* control freak…) and so when it all gets overwhelming (which it seems to do a little more now that I get tired and cranky more easily) I blame it on my husband, who ends up shrugging his shoulders with a perplexed look on his face and saying, “I’d have helped if you would have told me you needed it.”
An example: A few days we were at the pool with family. I had Penelope in a chair next to me and I was feeding her lunch and trying to eat mine at the same time. My husband had just finished cooking the food and was standing near the table eating some chips. Penelope started trying to get down from her chair (while I tried to keep her there) and she knocked over a bowl of cut-up fruit. For some reason (I’ll blame pregnancy hormones), I immediately looked at my husband and snapped, “You could help you know.” He, confused, said, “I didn’t know you needed help.”
Why can’t he read my mind? More specifically, why can’t he read my mind the second the thought, “I need help” blares through it? Maybe I just need to be more aware of situations that could result in the need for assistance and plan to seek aid before things become critical.
In less drastic situations (i.e. I’ve been handling a fussy Penny all afternoon and cleaning at the same time while he’s been reading peacefully) I know what I want just fine (help with the cleaning or the kiddo!), and I don’t think it’s asking too much for him to know as well. I guess it’s true what they say: women work in subtlety and men are more candid. I’ll just need to find a way to relinquish a little control once in a while and maybe he can take some classes in ESP, and we’ll find our way to the middle eventually!